The psychology major in me comes out in too much...

          It has been a while since I last wrote an entry for this blog. I haven't even been journaling very often. Life happens. Work happens. Opportunities to see family open up. The past couple of months have been such a blessing. I have been able to spend my summer in my hometown in Georgia. My friends have been helping adjust to living on my own. Their homes are always open to me but they understand the need for me to experience having my own place to keep up. Dirty dishes pile up, mouse traps kill the gross brutes that try to steal my food, and pine needles blanket my front steps. I love having the house to myself. It is peaceful and quiet. I do sometimes get lonely but I feel as though I have definitely grown into an independent young adult my mom has always wanted me to become. I still have to lean on my mother to help pay for simple things as well as many major things. She payed for my tooth implant, emergency room visit, and she continues to help me pay for my college tuition. But she allows me to make my own decisions in life rather than hold the fact that she pays for a lot of what I do against me to try and control me.

          I may be pushing some buttons when I tell the truth about a lot of parents. They control their children or attempt to throughout much of their young adult life. I know it is important and good to have influences but to have a person tell you every little thing you can and cannot do when you become a college student or when you finish high school is not always good. Most young adults need to experience a little life without the commands of parents. I do believe that parents need to be a constant in a child's life even throughout their adulthood. What I mean by that is, kid's will always look up to their parents. Parents should always be influencing and advising their children especially when they become independent adults. We children desire to please our parents. I'm sure most of you would agree. I know there are cases in which children have no parents or at least no contact with their parents but I am referring to the average family. Whether you are only close to one of your parents or both, it is important to share a connection with each other. A healthy one.

          My relationship with my mom isn't perfect but we have been close for a long time. I have always been my mother's daughter. I am so much like her and get this...we are not biologically related. It's all about sharing a relationship with your parents. Not about being biologically connected. Much of my life I spent wondering why I do certain things but over the past few years I have discovered that I do a lot of things that my mother does. Her influence on me has been both positive and negative. Negative because I have always had the bad habit of biting my nails(something I have always gotten on to her about doing except she also bites the dead skin around her fingernail bed. It is so gross). Positive in that she has always seemed confident as an independent woman with five children. Now I don't wish to stay an independent woman because I do desire to marry one day but for right now I am content on living a single life. I enjoy traveling and school without the boyfriend factor. My mom and I have talks about life and they really help me make the right decision. She gives great advice but never tells me what to do. I even try to get her to tell me what to do but she always...I mean ALWAYS says "Lily, you are an adult. Only you can make the best decision for yourself." It gets on my nerves when she says that but I appreciate why she says it. I know I need to be a "big girl" and live like one.

          So the point of this blog entry is to say my piece about parents and young adults, such as myself. I am a 20 year old junior in college. I think if you are my age or even a little older then you are too old for mommy and daddy to be telling you how to live your life. Giving advice is different than giving demands.