Regret or Rejoice

             This is a poem I wrote quite a few years back. I was in middle school when I wrote it but it didn't have great meaning until one of my brothers went through a rehab program. He turned his life around completely and this poem spoke truth in both of our lives. Truth that I never imagined would be. His life had consisted of a lot of suffering and self battles. My life was different in that I was always the "good" child that watched her older siblings tear their lives apart with addictions, abuse, and self hate. I resented my family for a short time but God taught me a lesson that was not easy to learn. This poem is about finding myself and realizing my past was so flawed. I was so consumed in trying to find why I was put in such a disfunctional family. Now...I can't imagine not having grown up with siblings who went through many trials. I cannot imagine not having been raised by a mother who cared so deeply for her children. Her love was so strong that she sacrificed many job opportunities for us...she spent many hours among many days crying out to God to help her raise her children...I was just as naive as my siblings growing up but in a different way. So this post is dedicated to my brother Lucas. I love you strong arm of the sun!

Turned

Through the times we shared

We never ever cared

That our lives were going down.

 

 

Through the times we shared

We never ever cared

That our lives were turned around.

 

 

Our backs were turned,

and our hearts torn.

And not a single care until. . .

 

 

We found someone.

He changed our lives.

And now we live as He would want.

 

 

His name we praise.

Our hearts, He raises.

And that is just the beginning.

When times were rough

We'd ignore truth, make up stuff

to hide visible proof

that our lives were falling apart

 

 

When times were bad

We'd sip our cup of lies and sad regret

to keep away the pain

of knowing we were living in vain

 

 

Our pain was masked

Our smiles were lies

And not a simple way out until...

 

 

Our direction was turned

Leading us into grace

And now we live with a light brighter than bright

 

 

Our hearts have been softened

Our eyes are fixed on God

And now we rejoice in victory in Him

I love to write poetry but I only write when I have something to write. I used to regret some of my past. But now I rejoice in it. God has changed my heart and my mind in such a positive way. I am so thankful for Him. Who would I be without a creator and savior?

An article written about my family when I was about 2 years old.