An Exerpt from My Unwritten Book

"I look down too much. So, sometimes I come here to look up…to remind myself that there is an up and not just a down." -from my unwritten book

I have so many random thoughts that go through my mind. I sometimes write down what my imagination brings me. Yes, I have conversations with myself sometimes. This quote stems from a scene that is as follows:

"There was a relief about the air that evening. I walked down to the river, which was a mighty long walk considering it took me three hours to get there. When I reached the rock I intended on settling on there was no one around. It was the perfect night to star gaze in silence and solitude. I quite liked my time alone. No questions were asked of me and no eyes fell hard on me like a bowling ball to its pins. My tension from the surgery was gone but the pain was still present. So I layed my body on the rock and began to wonder into the black and into the twinkling stars.
I was interrupted after, who-knows-how-long, by a familiar voice. My friend Olausse was meeting up with some friends. The river is a popular place especially on a summer night like this one. He didn’t recognize me at first but shined his light on me quickly to find out. Unfortunately for me I had my eyes closed and my clothes were lying next to me. I was planning on skinny dipping after my star-gazing phase of a daze was over. I did manage to leave my underwear on, much to both his and my relief. I screamed, ‘eeeeahhh! Um…well this is..umm. Who are you?!’ His immediate reply, ‘what the heck are you doing out here naked??!’ I knew instantly who it was. You can imagine how I responded. I obviously wasn’t naked…not completely at least. I explained myself as did he explain himself. Then he asked why I came alone. I wasn’t sure how to answer. I do this thing where I have long silent pauses between every one or three words when I’m not sure what to say to someone. He in turn was agitated and eager for an answer. He also saw the scar from my surgery. I was mortified. I hadn’t planned on telling anyone, especially a friend from home, about my tragic fail of a surgery to save my degenerating body. But I managed to give a general answer as to why I had come alone. ‘I look down too much. So, sometimes I come here to look up…to remind myself that there is an up and not just a down. And its a magnificently beautiful up at that.' "

Check out this same post on my Tumblr(lol):
Unwritten Book

Sarah's in Africa

This is my friend Sarah's blog who is currently doing her internship in Burkina Faso. She's always inspiring!
four.nineteen: 5-1-2013: Bonjour! So, I'm not totally sure when this will get posted, but I wanted to update you all since it's been a while. It'...

Oh the Lies We Believe

One of the first lies I began to believe when I was a child was that if I had a different, more normal family...my life would have been better. I listened to the lie that my family was the reason I had a void in my heart. I believed that if I had two parents, my loneliness would cease. Statistics told me that my belief was true but reality was telling me that my emptiness was not going to be filled be any one person. My life was not completed nor can it be by my family or friends. I know I am loved but the only love that seemed to make a difference in my life was the love of God. I truly believe that if I hadn't grown to know who God was and is then my road would have stayed beaten and impassable. Getting over the rocks and hopping over the ruts in the road has not been easy. Love is a discipline. When I found true love (Christ's love) I wasn't sure how He would fit into my daily routine. I wasn't sure if talking to Him throughout the day as if He were right beside me was normal. I wasn't sure if singing praises in my yard with tears streaming down my cheeks was enough for Him to see and know my deep gratitude and love for His grace on me. Between the tears and the praying, somewhere along the way I stopped seeking the Lord. I still prayed when I remembered to or when I knew I couldn't control something that I so desperately wanted to control. I have committed many sins but every day God forgives. Every hour God forgives. He amazes me every day by His grace. It wasn't until college that I began to truly become discipline in my faith. I know most people lose all ties to their faith when they go to college...but I go to an unusually Christ-centered university. Every decision this college makes is prayerfully made. The professors all have an evident love for the Lord. They even invite students over for bible studies and dinners. There is a overwhelmingly strange and inviting atmosphere here. I have multiple people in my life here who genuinely care for me and literally pray for me every day and week. I am fed many encouraging scriptures and wisdoms every week. I wish I were exaggerating but alas I am not. This University is nothing but a place of spiritual growth and a great place to get grounded in your faith. May the Lord never leave Liberty and forever have God-fearing leaders. May all who attend Liberty or just visit find the lies in their life and choose to believe in the only thing for sure...God's love for them.

Distance

Click Me! I'm a song about Distance :)
Often, distance takes a toll on relationships. Whether the relationship is between you and a friend or you and a family member...the pain of being apart takes over when memories cease to satisfy withdrawal moments. Though there is joy in the Lord, there is still pain on this earth. Emotional pain can seem much worse than grave physical pain. Sometimes emotional pain causes physical pain. This is the part of life no one likes to talk about let alone read about. But this is what my blog is about: writing whatever I have weighing on my chest to be pushed onto paper/digital paper. I have many loved ones who I am often apart from. I dedicate this post to those loved ones. They have been such amazing support in my crazy life.

Lyrics to the song:

Near or Far by Carissa Rae
 VERSE:
I’M HERE, YOU’RE THERE
BUT YOUR LOVE IS WITH ME EVERYWHERE I GO
THIS I KNOW
I’M NEAR YOU’RE FAR
DRIVIN’ AWAY IN YOUR LITTLE CAR
BUT MY LOVE WILL FOLLOW YOU EVERYWHERE

PRE-CHORUS
BEST BELIEVE I’LL MAKE MISTAKES
BUT LOVE WON’T STOP IT HAS NO BRAKES

CHORUS:
STRONG IS WHAT WE ARE
WHENEVER WE’RE APART
I’LL BE RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE
I’M IN YOUR HEART
SO DON’T YOU WORRY ‘BOUT A THING
OR ALL THE MILES IN BETWEEN
YOU HAD MY HEART
YOU HAD IT FROM THE START
I’LL LOVE YOU FROM AFAR

VERSE:
I HEAR THEM SAY
THAT WHAT WE HAVE MADE FADE AWAY
BUT I REFUSE
WE’LL NEVER LOSE
THEY SAY IT’S A CASE
OF THE HONEYMOON PHASE
BUT I JUST SMILE
‘CAUSE I KNOW THIS WILL LAST A WHILE

PRE-CHORUS:
UNDERSTAND YOU’LL MAKE MISTAKES
BUT LOVE WON’T STOP IT HAS NO BRAKES

CHORUS:
STRONG IS WHAT WE ARE
WHENEVER WE’RE APART
I’LL BE RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE
I’M IN YOUR HEART
SO DON’T YOU WORRY ‘BOUT A THING
OR ALL THE MILES IN BETWEEN
YOU HAD MY HEART
YOU HAD IT FROM THE START
I’LL LOVE YOU FROM A..

BRIDGE:
FAR OR NEAR AND EVERYWHERE
I KNOW THAT YOU WILL STILL BE THERE
DEEP INSIDE MY HEART
INSIDE MY HEART

CHORUS:
STRONG IS WHAT WE ARE
WHENEVER WE’RE APART
I’LL BE RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE
I’M IN YOUR HEART
SO DON’T YOU WORRY ‘BOUT A THING
OR ALL THE MILES IN BETWEEN
HAD MY HEART
YOU HAD IT FROM THE START
I’LL LOVE YOU FROM AFAR

Liberty University

I love Liberty University. The amazing atmosphere filled with genuine friendship, family as a student body, truly caring professors, bomb leadership...the list goes on. It could just be my positive look on life, but I believe Liberty was the best fit for my first 3 years of college. My friends here are for sure lifetime friends. I try to keep in touch with all that I meet. Sometimes I don't even become friends with those around me until after we're living in different states and/or countries. I want to thank everyone who has blessed me in Lynchburg by being a part of my growth in a few of the most influential years of my life. I could never have asked for a better university to find who I am and ask the tough questions of life. This is me announcing my last month here this semester as my last month of residency. I don't know where I'm going but I know that God is guiding me and continually molding me into who He wants me to be. I will miss everything about this campus, the good and the bad. I could never take for granted the blessing that is this place. I love you Liberty and I love you who have faith in the most powerful and gracious God and those who don't share the same faith. You've made my college experience amazing!

Yours Truly,

                     Liliia Lizabeth Walsh

Wanting More but Seeking Less:

What is the Gospel? When was the last time you were truly moved by the Gospel?

These are great questions to ask yourself. For me, I am not sure the last time I was truly moved by the Gospel. My first thought about this question was, "when was the last time I got emotional over God's sacrificing love?" I can remember many occasions but I can't pinpoint the very last time I completely lost myself in God's love. To answer the first question though, the Gospel is the good news of God. Jesus is the Son of God that was human like me, yet lived a completely pure life. He let people like me ridicule him and allowed them to kill him in front of the public. I don't understand how someone so pure do something so selfless for someone like me. I wish I could say I would allow others to spit on me, cut my skin so many times that I have no inch uncovered of the blood that pours out, call me unspeakable names that make no sense to my character but make me feel worthless, and then make me carry a log of wood heavier than all the books on my shelf only so that they can nail my hands and feet to it as I die a slow and unimaginable death. I wish I could say I would let all of that happen just so that at least one person would believe in God's love for them. Jesus is the Gospel. He should be my motivation to do great things. I often desire whatever He has planned for me but it goes no further than the feeling of 'wanting'. My actions in the past have not reflected the Gospel's impact on my life. I don't think people who do not know me well would think of me as a strong woman of God. I'm not concerned about what others think of me, but I am concerned about the impact that comes from knowing and loving God. Where does impacting my peers fit into my daily routine? I don't think I can answer that question just yet. My testimony is important but the question is not about me impacting others. The original question I first mentioned is about the Gospel. So what of this "good news" that makes people "change their ways"…"turn away from sin"…."right their wrongs"…what is so life changing? Description of the cross story is not enough to move you to tears? Waiting  for the emotion to kick in will not change your heart. Seeing a loved one suffer through cancer, getting into a situation of life or death, getting evicted from the only home you know…all of these situations can spark a desire to seek God but what happens after you "meet" Jesus? What happens after you introduce Him into your life? The Gospel doesn't change, yet you become numb to the story or you push it to the side because you know it oh so well. Then you wait again for another life changing event to take place before you let the Gospel move you. The Gospel is for everyday. It's not a jacket, only to be worn when it's cold. The Gospel is an everyday need and does more than give you the desire to share God's love with others. This good news reminds me that I am not alone and I am not unloved. Jesus is the reason and He is also who I should be seeking everyday.