My Story

      I've been debating on how to write this blog. I've wanted to share my entire testimony for a long time. I needed to do some serious growing up before I could find words to fill in the last few paragraphs though. Many who know me know the basics of my background. I was adopted by a single woman who was once married long before she had children. None of us children are her biological offspring but we might as well be. I have four siblings. Jacqueline, Priscilla, Zeder, and Lucas. I do have a younger sister, Meanalynn, but she never grew up with the four of us. I'll get back to how we are all related later in this blog.
     My walk with God began when I was about eight years old. My family began attending a predominately chocolate people southern Baptist church. Before that we had attended a few catholic churches. My mom was just getting into God's word more indepthly so her search for a church that taught us God's word for what it is was just beginning. After a couple of years at this Baptist church I began asking my mother questions about God and why He loved us. Of course I asked questions that couldn't be answered so I began praying to God for answers. I was so young but I truly felt God's presence and His love for me. My mom took me to the pastor of the church and we talked about me being baptized. Before I was able to get baptized at that church my mom felt God leading us to another church for reasons I am unsure of. We then began attending a Pentacostal church. It was a small church and there were a mixture of flavors in this church. I felt comfortable at this church but my walk with God didn't continue like it should have. There were not many children my age. My mom's walk grew for sure. I could see it in her everyday. It was encouraging to see her grow but I wasn't getting what she got out of that church. It was almost as if I was just going to please my mom rather than to seek God. We attended that church for a couple of years and then were lead to a predominately vanilla baptist church. My best friend as well as many of my classmates attended this church. I didn't feel at home or comfortable at this church but for some reason I was growing and seeking God rather than just attending services. I loved Sunday school the most. Though I never was close friends with my classmates, my best friend and I had a great time together. I loved my Sunday school teachers as well. My family continued attending this church from the time I was going into middle school to the time I was a junior in high school. Throughout those years I felt God leading me to talk to the pastor of the church(we went through quite a few diff pastors during those years) about getting baptized. I knew Jesus as my Lord and Savior, I understood what it meant to be a Christian, and I knew with a shadow of a doubt that God exists and loves me and created me. But . . . there is always a but . . . I kept putting off God's call to getting baptized at that church. I didn't like the people in my youth group, my classmates, because they were all hypocritcal in my eyes. They weren't acting like followers of God when we were not in church. I was also never invited to any of their "parties". I wasn't exactly upset about that though. I would not have fit in with their lifestyles. Not all of the people in the youth were of that nature. I also didn't want to be labled as Baptist. There is nothing wrong with being Baptist but I just wanted to be a Christian. I do not want to be put into a category under Christianity. Too many times are people asked what denomonation of Christianity they are and too many times they are judged or stereotyped for being of a certain denomonation. I felt that I could be a better witness of God's love by just simplying stating that I am Christian. If someone wants to know more I shall explain to them my exact view and beliefs.
     I was baptized my first semester here at college. I attend Liberty University. I went through a believer's baptism ceremony with several other people around my age. Some were new believers and others were just like me and had never taken the next step in their walk with Christ. I do have to tell you that a weight was lifted off of me. I was so happy to finally share my faith with hundreds of my brothers/sisters-in-Christ without fear and without hesitation. Here at Liberty we are assigned to prayer groups as resident students. My prayer leader was the person I shared my desire to be baptized. She was so happy to hear about my desire. It was she who gave me courage to email the school about getting baptized. My mom was super happy to hear about my baptism. She came up to see me. I was so happy she came. It was she who taught me of the love of God. It was she who taught me the importance of reading God's word daily. It was her who showed me love in this world before I could see God's love and truly grasp it.
     My years growing up were not of the norm. My family went through a lot of issues of all kinds. My oldest sister had a problem with debt but she got herself out of it with the guidance of my mother. My other sister Priscilla married an abusive man and fled from him. She tried to divorce him but he would never sign the papers. To this day we are not sure if they ever officially divorced. Priscilla abandoned her boyfriend of a few years in Arkansas for unknown reasons and now lives in the Marshall Islands. Her son who was fostered by her and her ex-boyfriend now lives with her biological mother. My brother Zeder was an alcoholic for sometime and never got help for it. He now is living a more responsible life in Arkansas with his current girlfriend who is expecting a child in the fall of 2011. He had a daughter with his ex-girlfriend but things are a bit hostile between them. My brother Lucas had a few addictions that he got help for. He went through a rehab program in Woodstock, Ga that was associated with an amazing church, First Baptist Woodstock.
     As for me, I never went through a life-altering trial. My issues were with myself and with God. There were times in my life that I felt so alone and the only way I knew I wasn't was by God putting people in my life to show me so. I spoke to God on a daily basis throughout my middle school years. My mom gave my other siblings a lot of attention because of the trials they all went through. There was a night that I was crying to God about how neglected I felt. My mom came into my room later that evening and started crying. She said she was sorry for being such a terrible mother to me. She said she had been giving a lot of attention to my brothers and felt that she wasn't being a good mother to me. I of course told her that she wasn't a bad mother and that it was okay. I told her I was okay. I cried more that night after she prayed a blessing over me. God knew what I needed and the time that I needed it. I knew my siblings needed my mom's attention more than I did. I had many friends that sort of adopted me into their families. I am so grateful for them. The love that God showed me was that of the unconditional sort. Though I was not blood related to any of my friends and their families, they still loved me as if I were their blood. So many have shown me unconditional love and I have only wanted to give back and reflect the influence they have had upon me.
     There is much more detail to my testimony so if you have any questions feel free to leave a comment or email me at liliia_rocks@yahoo.com. Thanks for reading!